Nights Like This
by Rainb0wNinja
Summary: <html><head></head>On nights like this, when it rained the hardest, Levi silently fell apart. Only this time Eren would be there, being the only person who could get the man to fully break. Because it needed to be done. Sad Ereri oneshot, with some fluff at the end. Rated for language and Levi's depressing life. Will be OOC.</html>


**This is the second time I'm writing Levi being drunk and OOC, and Hanji having to ask Eren to help. I'm developing a habit here. Oh well. And yeah, this has spoilers, both for the female titan arc and Levi's side story, No Regrets. So sad D:**

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><p>It had been the usual kind of day for Eren. Hanji wanted to run some tests on him, he was forced by the Corporal to clean his <em>disgusting<em> hole of a room, and then he had to practice some hand-to-hand combat. Now it was time to eat dinner in the mess hall, and he was sitting with Mikasa and Armin who were telling him about their day. Hanji had joined them a few minutes ago and was being less creepy than usual. All in all, it had been a pretty alright day. Until there was a bright flash from outside, followed by a loud boom.

"Rain?" Armin asked, looking out one of the windows just to make sure. "But it's been sunny all day. There weren't even any clouds." As he said this, water began sliding down the window, confirming his suspicions.

"Hm, that's weird." Eren said, not really thinking much of it. Nobody else seemed alarmed by the sudden change and resumed their conversations. All except for Hanji, who stared wide eyed outside. Eren noticed the way she seemed to freeze, being way too quiet for someone of her nature. There was another loud crack of thunder and the rain began coming down even harder. She seemed to snap out of her odd trance and begin looking around, almost frantically. "Hanji?" Eren asked, wondering what was wrong.

"This is bad." She finally said, standing abruptly and looking around even more, eyes squinting in concentration. She began walking around, so Eren followed, casting a worried glance to Armin and Mikasa. "I'll be right back, guys."

"But Eren!" Mikasa tried to follow, only to be stopped by Armin. The blonde shook his head at her. "He'll be alright, let it go." He said, and Mikasa reluctantly sat back down.

"Hanji, wait!" Eren cried as he tried to keep up with her. She was looking around, trying to find something. Or someone.

"Has anyone seen Corporal Levi?" She shouted, eyebrows furrowing when the people around her shook their heads no. "Damn, where is he?"

"Why do you need the Corporal?" He asked, beginning to worry about Hanji. He had never seen her so concerned.

"I wouldn't say _I_ need him," She replied, which only confused Eren more. It certainly looked like she needed him. But why? It had something to do with this freak storm, he gathered that much. But it's rained before and he never saw her react like this. "I just need to make sure _he_ doesn't need _me_."

"Why would he?" Eren asked. Since when did the Corporal need anyone? Especially Hanji, Eren was sure Levi wasn't fond of her. Or anyone, for that matter.

"I can't really say…Just follow me, okay? You might actually be more helpful for this." She said, and began running down a corridor. Eren quickly followed her until she stopped in front of a closed door. Eren realized it was Levi's room. She put a finger to her lips, gesturing him to stay quiet. Eren nodded, watching as she put her ear to the door and listened intently. There was an even louder clap of thunder, causing even Eren to jump, and that's when he heard a muffled sound come from inside the room. It sounded like Levi. Hanji frowned sharply and quickly kicked the door open, giving Eren a look that clearly said _'Wait here.'_ She walked inside, and from that point Eren had to really focus to hear what they were saying.

"Levi, are you alright?" She asked, sounding like she was talking to some kind of wild animal. She was being careful, but why? Eren didn't hear what Levi said, but his voice sounded angry. "I know, but I needed to make sure. It's been a while..since it's rained like this." He heard her say, wondering what the rain had to do with anything. Was Levi scared of thunder or something? _Tch, yeah right, like he would be scared of some rain. So then what the hell is going on?_

"You've been drinking." Hanji said, sounding oddly sad. Eren didn't know the Corporal liked alcohol. He seemed to prefer tea most of the time.

"Get out." This time Levi spoke loudly enough for Eren to hear. His voice sounded strained and deeper than usual.

"Levi…I'm not going to leave you alone like this. I'll go, but Eren came with me. I want you to talk with him." Eren suddenly felt scared. He was supposed to talk to Levi right _now_? He didn't even know what was going on, or what he would be walking into! _Dammit Hanji!_

"I don't wanna talk to that shitty brat!" Levi shouted, and Eren noticed he was talking differently. _Is he really drunk..?_

"You need to talk to someone, Levi, and I think Eren is the right person. Please, I don't want you to keep doing this to yourself." Hanji said, and then there was a moment of silence. Eren flinched as the woman came walking back out, looking more serious than he's ever seen her. "Eren, please, just at least go sit with him. I promise to make it up to you."

"B-But I don't know what's wrong! What do I say?" Eren asked nervously, wishing she would just explain whatever the hell this was.

"You don't necessarily have to _say_ anything. Just..listen, okay? That's all he needs right now." She said, touching his shoulder briefly before walking away. Eren gulped, cautiously peering his head inside. Levi was sitting on his bed, back towards Eren, and was staring outside at the rain. Eren noticed the strange positioning of his bed. It looked like the Corporal had purposefully moved it so he could stare out of the large window. As quietly as he could, Eren walked inside and closed the door, locking it as an afterthought. He got the feeling that Levi didn't want anyone else coming in. Once that was done, though, he had no idea what to do. Going anywhere near the man seemed like a bad idea.

"Are you gonna stand there all day, kid?" Levi asked, or more like croaked. His voice sounded so raw, Eren wasn't sure what to think of it.

"Er..No, Sir, I just…where would you like me to sit?" Eren asked uncertainly, wondering if it was okay to talk. Hanji had told him to listen, not speak. Levi sighed and pointed to the chair next to his bed. Eren was more confused than ever. Levi was letting him sit right next to him, as if he wanted him here. But he told Hanji he didn't want to see Eren. Why was Levi even doing what Hanji said? Regardless, Eren sat in the chair, finally getting a good look at his Corporal. The man didn't look any different. Tired, maybe, and his eyes seemed a little unfocused from whatever he had been drinking. There was a bottle on the nightstand next to Eren. It was empty. Levi didn't take his eyes off of the rain mercilessly pelting his window though. For what seemed like forever, the only sound that filled the room was the raging storm. That is until Levi started to talk.

"It hasn't rained like this…in a long time." He began, blinking slowly as lightning flashed and lit up the room. The sudden light illuminated the Corporal's silver-blue eyes, and in that brief moment, Eren saw several things. Grief, regret, despair, even fury. Though he was somewhat used to the last one.

"It is pretty bad.." Eren said, not quite sure what else to say. He really wanted to know what's going on. "Came out of nowhere, too."

"Yeah…it did, didn't it?" Levi said, brows coming together ever so slightly. "I've seen this happen once before, several years ago. Right after I joined the Survey Corps.." Eren got the feeling there was a story behind this, and that it would explain everything. His Corporal seemed more talkative when he was drunk, and opened up easily. Eren figured now would be the only time to learn more about Levi.

"Oh, really? What happened?" He asked, noticing how Levi's jaw clenched at the question. Eren was beginning to regret asking it, until Levi sighed, looking down at his lap for the first time.

"It was the second day of our first expedition." He began, and Eren wondered who 'we' were._ New recruits?_ "We were still learning how everything worked. They were teaching us about flares and what each color meant. Everything was fine, until the sky started getting darker. The clouds moved in so fast, and then it was raining, we didn't know what to do. It started pouring so hard we couldn't see what was in front of us. The flares didn't work in the rain."

Eren noticed the way Levi grew tense, his hands clasped together so tightly his knuckles were white.

"I..made a mistake." He admitted, and Eren found that hard to believe. Levi hardly ever made mistakes. "We became surrounded by titans. We were searching blindly for the others who were supposed to be close by. I had to make a decision, and I chose wrong."

"Sir..who were these people?" Eren asked, instantly regretting it when Levi made a pained face.

"Before I was forced to join the Survey Corps by Erwin, I lived in a place called The Underground. It's exactly what it sounds like, and it was hell. But I found people to call family there. Their names were Farlan Church and Isabel Magnolia. They joined to stay with me. We all wanted Erwin to die, for reasons I won't get into. They don't matter anymore. At the time, we believed he had documents that we needed. We were planning on sneaking up on him and taking them, and during that storm seemed like the right time. But if all three of us went, it would be obvious. We needed to stay hidden." Levi took a shuddering breath, and Eren was sure he wasn't used to talking this much.

"I decided to go alone. Farlan tried to convince me to wait until the storm passed, but I didn't listen. I was a fool. I left them alone for a few minutes, and that's when..it happened. On my way to Erwin, I passed by a titan attack. There were no survivors, and there were footprints that were going straight for Farlan and Isabel. I went as fast as I could, but when I made it, they…The others were being eaten. My friends were still alive, trying to flee from the titans, but they were outnumbered. Isabel almost killed one..but.."

"But what, Sir?" Eren said, dread pooling in his stomach. For some reason, he felt like he was there, in Levi's shoes. He tried to picture Armin and Mikasa fighting a group of titans.

"…She missed. Her 3DMG was still attached to its neck, but she was just hanging there. Another Titan noticed her and…ate her." Levi was somehow explaining this with his usual expression, but Eren could practically feel the despair rolling off of him in waves.

"And then?" He asked, not really wanting to know what happened next, but feeling like Levi needed to say it. Somehow, he knew this was the first time Levi had ever told anyone this story.

"Something went wrong with Farlan's gear. He got caught. I almost made it…I_ almost_ saved him. But I was too late. He was eaten as well. I cut open the bastards stomach and pulled him back out..but.." Levi was beginning to struggle, Eren could tell by the way his hands were shaking. "Only half of him made it."

"Sir.." Eren gasped, horrified that Levi had witnessed both of his friends die so gruesomely. And yet the story wasn't even over.

"I killed every last one of those fucking monsters." Levi growled, looking back outside. His eyes were fiercer than usual. "When the last one fell, I landed next to something that to this day I will never forget seeing. When Isabel died, it appeared as though the titan had devoured her completely. That's when I realized she wasn't eaten, that titan actually tripped and fell. It squished her. I landed next to her severed head. Her fucking eyes were still open. I had to close them..I fucking _had_ too..and that's when Erwin came. I wanted to kill him so bad, but he helped me realize that it was my own fault they had died. If I had just stayed with them…" Levi broke off, returning to stare at his lap. His eyes became shadowed.

"You have the same eyes as Isabel." Levi suddenly said, and Eren felt as though he had been slapped in the face. _Is that why he dislikes me so much? I remind him of her?_ "Sometimes you act like her, too. She wanted to be free and see what the world was like outside of the walls."

"S-Sir..I'm so sorry…that's terrible." Eren said, understanding why his Corporal was such an emotionless, cold person. His whole life had been hell.

"Whenever it rains like this, I get reminded of that time. Hanji worries about me. I'm fine, though, this is just the world we live in. The only thing I can do is continue killing titans."

"You're _not_ fine!" Eren shouted, suddenly feeling angry. Levi was anything _but_ fine. "You keep everything inside, and don't let anyone help you! I didn't even know these people, and I feel like my heart just got ripped in half, I can't even imagine how_ you_ feel inside! Corporal, have you ever even properly mourned their deaths?"

"…No, I suppose I haven't." Levi replied, voice neutral and face blank. Eren was suddenly grabbing the man by his shoulders, sitting on the bed next to him. "Eren.." Levi growled in warning, but Eren wouldn't get scared now. He needed to help Levi, whether he wanted it or not.

"Sir, you once told me that we can't know the outcome of our choices. We simply have to rely on our intuition and trust our teammates, and even then there is no guarantee. You had no idea what would happen that day, you merely trusted what your gut told you. It wasn't your fault."

"Like when you left the Special Operations Squad with the female Titan?" Levi asked, and guilt washed over Eren tenfold. He still felt terrible about that, and now it was worse, because not only did Levi lose his only family, but his squad as well. "That wasn't your fault either, but will you ever truly forgive yourself?"

"..No, and I understand that you won't either. But keeping everything to yourself is just making it worse. You have to mourn, Sir, or else one day you'll snap. If that happens on the battlefield it could cost your life. Your friends wouldn't like seeing you like this, Corporal."

Levi actually flinched at hearing this. Eren had hit a nerve, and while he knew this could end with him getting kicked in the face, he needed to break Levi down.

"They're watching over you right now, and I'll bet seeing you like this makes them sad."

"…I know it does," Levi said in a low voice, body shaking for a second. "But I can't just suddenly cry, Eren, I never have. I was raised by a serial killer for fucks sake." Eren mentally slapped himself for forgetting that one crucial fact.

Kenny Ackerman, also known as Kenny the Ripper.

_Of course he was raised and trained by a serial killer. God, can his life be any fucking sadder?!_

"If I ever cried, or showed any emotion, he would make sure it didn't happen again. He taught me how to remain perfectly calm, no matter the situation. Shit only got worse when I lived underground. I haven't cried in decades, Eren, even when I watched my friends die. Even when my squad died."

"Well you're going to tonight, Sir. You may be humanities strongest soldier, you may have been raised by a killer, you may have survived in some dark, depressing hell hole, but before all of that, you're a human. You were born human, and some day you'll die a human. You're not perfect. You have emotions somewhere in there, and they need to come out. I'll help you." Eren said with determination, never letting go of his Corporal's shoulders. Levi stared vacantly at his hands, and Eren noticed he had been avoiding eye contact this entire time. "Look at me, Corporal."

Levi actually shuddered. He didn't look. Eren gripped his shoulders tightly and forced him to turn, but the man kept his head down. With one hand, Eren grabbed him by the chin and titled his face up. Levi stubbornly looked away._ He's trying to hold it together so bad, but deep down he knows this has to be done. This isn't healthy. I think he might actually be scared to face it, scared to let someone see him so uncharacteristically vulnerable. To think he's scared of something…But he's human. He's not some perfect soldier who has no feelings. He just bottles everything up._

"Corporal, you need to look at me. Look in my eyes. Remember her…Remember Isabel. She wants you to be happy, Sir. She's probably really sad right now."

"Dammit Eren, I_ know_ that! I just…I need a fucking drink if I'm going to do this."

"That bottle is empty."

"I have more. Under my bed…there's more." Levi said, keeping his eyes shut as he felt Eren get onto the floor and reach for his hidden stash. Eren felt around blindly, not wanting to look. He didn't want to know how much Levi was hiding under here. Eventually, his hand wrapped around the neck of another bottle, and he carefully pulled it out. Levi took it and looked away as he pulled the cork out and began chugging. He didn't stop until that one was empty as well.

"Better?" Eren asked, watching as Levi looked outside and blinked slowly, eyes glazing over. He swayed to one side and Eren caught him, forcing him to look again. This time their eyes met. The bottle dropped to the floor and shattered, Eren watching as Levi's eyes widened.

"No…not really…" He whispered, clasping his hands together again as they began to shake. "How is it possible…to have the exact same fucking color? I always thought her eyes were so different, so…beautiful."

"Did you love her?" Eren asked, heart clenching at the thought. _Were they together? God that would make everything so much worse._

"She called me big brother…" He said, voice barely audible. Eren felt his throat begin to burn. "I loved her like a sister. When I found her in The Underground, she was beaten and tired. I saved her..and protected her… I told her she would always be safe with me. She called me brother right before she died. I couldn't save her like she wanted…like she needed me to."

Eren couldn't take it anymore. He could literally feel Levi's pain in his heart, and it hurt more than anything. He pulled Levi into his chest and held him tightly. Levi didn't even struggle.

"Corporal…I'm so sorry." Eren said, feeling tears stream down his cheeks. "How do you go on every day acting like nothing happened? You never react to anything…I just can't understand it."

"I've been like this for my entire life, Eren, in a way I guess I've been brainwashed. It's not something I can control anymore." Levi replied, resting heavily against Eren._ He wants this…he wants to be comforted. Why else would he let me do this?_

"You can tonight, Sir, I won't watch. You can stay just like this and I won't see anything. Just please…don't hold back anymore. Even if this is the last time you ever show emotion for the rest of your life, I don't care, just please…stop torturing yourself Levi!" Eren cried, hugging the man so tight his arms began shaking. But it wasn't just his arms, it was Levi. His entire body was shaking now.

"Why do you care…why, Eren?" Levi asked, his usual calm, steady voice trembling slightly.

"Because…since I was young, I've looked up to you. I thought you were so cool, I still do, and I've admired you since then. I really care about you, Sir…I think I even…"

"Don't say it." Levi whispered, voice so soft Eren had to strain to hear it. "Don't you dare, Eren."

"I love you, Corporal." Eren said it anyways. He needed to get it off his chest, and Levi needed to know someone loved him, despite his flaws. Despite _everything_.

"No!" Levi shouted, hands flying up to Eren's shirt and gripping the fabric hard. "Don't say that…you can't possibly…feel that way. Everyone who has ever loved me…or cared about me…has died. I won't go through it again, dammit!"

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm humanities hope, remember? I can't die. I won't leave you alone, Levi, I swear it." Eren said, rubbing circles gently into Levi's back. Instead of a reply, Levi shook more, and Eren felt the front of his shirt become wet. _He's actually…_

"I love you," Eren whispered, pressing his lips against Levi's soft black hair. For a long while they remained like that, holding onto each other tightly. Levi cried silently, refusing to make a noise besides sniffling and shuddering breaths. His body shook uncontrollably as sobs ripped through his system, never making it out of his mouth. "You're amazing, you know that? Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders as if it were nothing. So many people think you're perfect, it must be a lot of pressure. They have no idea what you've been through. Your life is sadder than most, and in this world, that's really saying something. But you don't like being called perfect, do you? Because you're not. I know that. But you're still an amazing person. So strong…" Eren said, speaking gently to Levi who began to cry more.

"Even right now, you're strong. I'm proud of you. This wasn't easy, I know that." Levi made the smallest of sounds, a low whimper in the back of his throat. "It's okay." Eren whispered, urging the man to just let it out. He knew Levi wouldn't, but still, letting out even this much was good. It was healing. "Isabel and Farlan are proud too." Another sound, this one slightly louder.

"Petra, Erd, Gunter, Oluo. They're all smiling down at you, Levi. You've made them happy. And you'll feel happier too, I promise."

"H-How…do you know?" Levi asked, voice strained and weak and _tired_. Eren smiled, running his fingers through Levi's undercut.

"Because it stopped raining."

Levi jolted at hearing this, breaking away from Eren and looking outside. The rain had indeed stopped. All was quiet now. Eren tried not to look since he'd told Levi he wouldn't, but the man had moved so suddenly he couldn't help it. His wide, red eyes stared incredulously at the night sky, tears still sliding down his wet and flushed cheeks. _He looks…beautiful._ Eren didn't even realize he was staring until Levi looked back at him, glaring before returning to the safety of Eren's chest.

"Don't look at me!" He growled, punching Eren in the side.

"S-Sorry," Eren winced, "Couldn't help it. Why don't we lay down, Levi? You must be tired."

"..Fine." Levi agreed, scooting back with Eren until they were laying comfortably. Levi still refused to look at Eren, even when the tears stopped. "This stays between us, got it?"

"Of course. I wouldn't want anyone else knowing about this. Thank you, though, for letting me stay. Do you feel better?"

"I feel gross." Levi said, wiping away any remaining tears. Eren had to laugh at that. "But yes, I think I feel better now. I owe you…Eren."

"No you don't." Eren tried to deny, but Levi wasn't having any of it. The smaller man actually looked up at Eren, his blank expression back in place. "Yes I do, brat, now let me repay you." Levi said, voice holding the usual authority it always does. Eren was about to ask what he planned on doing when Levi suddenly kissed him, and then Eren's mind went blank.

"You're not allowed to leave me, you shitty brat, that's an order. From this point on your mine and you will be for however long I have left on this planet."

"Hey, you can't leave me either." Eren said, pouting slightly at the idea. Levi wouldn't die, he_ couldn't!_

"I'm a lot older than you. When I die, you'll be the age I am now. Assuming I die of old age."

"How old _are_ you?"

"None of your business. Now go to sleep."

"Only if you kiss me again."

And Levi did, again and again, until they both grew too tired and fell asleep. When morning rolled around Hanji once again kicked the door open, grinning widely at the sight of the two curled up next to each other, sleeping peacefully. It was just too cute.

"Leave it to you, Eren, always doing the impossible. Even breaking through Levi's heart."

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><p><strong>Woo! It ended so fluffy, I really didn't plan that. I can never end anything sad -_- But oh well. At least I kept it a oneshot. Sorry for OOC, but I love an emotional Levi. The day that guy shows he even is capable of feelings…I'm going to have a fangasm. Anyways, review if you enjoyed.<strong>


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